Anger Cycling

As I said before, I had recently read a mind opening book by bell hooks called _The Will To Change_ [https://cyclingunbound.wordpress.com/2013/10/27/the-will-to-change-cycling/]

This opened my mind to many new concepts, and one of them is anger.

A few years ago, I thought that I had gotten all my anger out of my system, or most of it, and I could move on to other tasks such as eliminating guilt from my mind.

After my recent reading, I realized that not only was this not the case, but perhaps this anger is more destructive than I thought.

I guess part of the problem was thinking of myself as being over my anger than realizing that this is going to be something that I’m going to need to deal with every day of my life.

One thing I liked about the bell hooks book was that it talked about how anger is one of the few emotions that a male is allowed to display in public.

However, I feel that this display of anger is highly destructive. Not only does it make us look worse, no matter how powerful we feel, but it robs us of our freedom to act. When I’m angry, I feel like I have less options and I have a narrower view of the situation.

This is probably because often anger covers up other emotions. I said this before, but I believe that ALL of our emotions are useful. This means that anger does have a productive place in our lives. I don’t want to be an emotionless Vulcan. But I do think that anger is addictive especially when I find myself getting bored, sometimes, and actively searching for things to be angry about.

Instead of doing this, I’m going to make an effort to _be_ bored.

Although it happens occasionally, usually when someone buzzes me or a stream of cars blatantly run a red light, I do get angry on the road, this is getting more and more rare. I get more angry when I am talking to motorists. DELETE ANGRY COMMENTS. Haha, I just did it.

The point is, I need to realize that this conversation will never go well. And almost all the bad experiences and reactions I got from people happened when I either spoke or talked from a place of anger.

This is where I really need to do a lot of work because for a long time, I thought I was getting places that I was getting good at talking to ANYONE. Now I realize that this complacency has driven me down the wrong road again. Assaulting someone with logic, reason, AND anger never goes well. 🙂

And I realize that ultimately the problem stems from my need to cling to the truth and to be right about things. It hurts to hear such blatant, self-serving misinformation.

But anger is a poor salve to this pain.

I’m going to shut up, sit still, be wrong, and suffer the pain.

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