Does English Transmit Cyclephobia?

When you speak of infectious disease, we talk about vectors. I am wondering if the English language is a vector for hatred of cycling.

What does this mean, hatred of cycling or cyclephobia?

Here’s a mental exercise: imagine fitness, thousands of dollars of saved money, safety, health, fun, no congestion, and free parking.

All of these things are desirable, right?

Now imagine a bicycle as the means to achieving these things.

If you are are normal person, when you think bicycle, you think of all the happy times you rode a bicycle. Cycling, by itself, is mainly safe and fun–it takes billions of dollars in government spending to really make cycling suck.

But many Americans see bicycle and they think that it’s a vast conspiracy to destroy their Way of Life. I kid you not.

When the UN mentioned the word “bicycles” (and health), many, many nutjobs in the United States glommed onto the one word bicycle, and they saw a sinister plot.

“Activists, some of whom have been associated with the Tea Party movement by the The New York Times and The Huffington Post, have said that Agenda 21 is a conspiracy by the United Nations to deprive individuals of property rights.”

But that’s a few loons, let’s ignore them.

We can’t:

“During the last decade, opposition to Agenda 21 has increased within the United States at the local, state, and federal levels. The Republican National Committee has adopted a resolution opposing Agenda 21, and the Republican Party platform stated that “We strongly reject the U.N. Agenda 21 as erosive of American sovereignty.”[14][15] Several state and local governments have considered or passed motions and legislation opposing Agenda 21.[16][17][18][19][4][20] Alabama became the first state to prohibit government participation in Agenda 21, but Arizona rejected a similar bill.”

Oh, snap!

These people are very, very powerful.

Cyclists are not only arrogant dare devils who break every law that there is in order to delay traffic by a few seconds, but now we are threatening the personal property of every American and even the soverty of the United States.

That’s right, riding a bicycle is treason on the highest order.

This means that the Republican Party itself is smearing bicycle riding and other healthy and green forms of living.

What is Agenda 21 anyway?

“Agenda 21 is a non-binding, voluntarily implemented action plan of the United Nations with regard to sustainable development.”

Note the key word here, non-binding. That means that we don’t have to follow it. It means that it’s a suggest.

So even if we suggest being more green, riding a bicycle, and so on, we are the devil.

Sounds like these people have very, very thin skin, are very, very frightened and not very bright.

To paraphrase Jack Nicholson in “Easy Rider”: “that’s what makes them dangerous.”

Here are some more details of this insidious plot:

Section I: Social and Economic Dimensions

This section is directed toward combating poverty, especially in developing countries, changing consumption patterns, promoting health, achieving a more sustainable population, and sustainable settlement in decision making.

Section II: Conservation and Management of Resources for Development

Includes atmospheric protection, combating deforestation, protecting fragile environments, conservation of biological diversity (biodiversity), control of pollution and the management of biotechnology, and radioactive wastes.

Section III: Strengthening the Role of Major Groups

Includes the roles of children and youth, women, NGOs, local authorities, business and workers and strengthening the role of indigenous peoples, their communities, and farmers.

Section IV: Means of Implementation

Implementation includes science, technology transfer, education, international institutions and financial mechanisms.

Wow, it helps poor people, women, and indigenous peoples.

It seeks to protect the environment as well as expand science. Sounds awful to me.

But here’s the kicker: ITS NON-BINDING. That means that that we don’t have to follow it. If you want to give up your sovereignty and property the resolution has to be binding.

The other funny thing is that this level of insane hatred toward the two wheel, peddle contraptions is unheard of in some non-English speaking countries. They think that Americans are really bizarre in their hatred of that which makes us healthy, rich, and happy.

The other strange thing is that though there are cycle haters, I almost solely see them online.

Most SD motorists are kind. During our one road trip, most motorists were kind as well. When I talk to people about cycling, I get an almost overwhelmingly positive response especially from younger people, those who will be running the world once the older cycling haters die.

So if you are a cycling hater, you are a dying breed.

I don’t speak any other languages, but I would like to expand my research to other countries such as China. Do they hate cyclist there, too?

I seem to think that they like them in Japan. A few South American countries have built some amazing and innovative infrastructure.

The research continues.

Is English the vector for cyclephobia? We’ll find out.


One Response to “Does English Transmit Cyclephobia?”

  1. Tonight’s post, in which I say goodbye to a friend, and your pre-New Year’s weekend links « BikingInLA Says:

    […] Critical Mass an outlaw anarchist organization hell bent on destroying America; maybe he believes Agenda 21 makes riding a bicycle treason of the highest order. A fallen Thousand Oaks cyclist and physician will be honored on the Donate […]

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