Penny Farthing

Last weekend, I met my first Penny Farthing rider, and he made an even huger impression on me than recumbent riders.

Before I go on, I’d like to say that I only met this guy once, but I can’t identify him because he wore a Nixon mask the whole time–or he was Nixon.

Also, he disguised his voice.

Finally, the whole account below is totally fictional.

Did you ever meet a twisted, looking glass version of yourself if you had stayed on the “bad” course in your life?

I did and his name is P. Farthing.

A Penny Farthing bicycle is one of the oldest bikes which has no chain, no gears, and no brakes. It’s basically a giant wheel with pedals and a seat attached.

Though illustrations of Penny Farthings make them look like sissies, this is actually the badest ass bike ever; a tank of the bicycle world.

It can do pretty much everything I want a bicycle to do and some things I won’t admit to wanting.

For example, it never gets flats. It’s super easy to coast. And if it runs into a car door, by accident, it rips the door off!

It sits so high off the ground that if you get cut off and step off the bicycle you wind up standing on the hood of a car.

With no brakes, stopping is a gradual foot dragging process.

The rider seemed a combination of mania, intensity, and joy that I seldom see. For the first time, I could see, perhaps, how people saw me in the bad old days.

If I were a woman, I’d be in love!

As it is, I barely suppressed a “Where can I find you!” before I left his presence.


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